My poor neglected blog... There are lots of excuses for why I temporarily abandoned this space, but I'm back. In case anyone else is still here...
This post, and 2009, have been a long time coming. Words cannot describe the elation I feel at the pending end to the worst year of my life. I won't go into all the craptastic events of the last year, because I am choosing to focus on the potential good that is to come. I know the simple ending of one year and beginning of next doesn't equate to a turn in luck/karma/fate/whathaveyou, but there is something cathartic about giving a big "Screw You!" to 2008. Though you tried, you did not defeat me!
And the best part is that Clint and I will actually get to spend New Year's together for the first time since we've been married. Yes, somehow we have managed to be apart every year on the same night for four years. Don't ask me how. But, my parents are taking the kiddo for a blissful 3 nights. It'll be like a little mini-vacay and I am totally sleeping in. Take that, '08.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Housing for the Poor
This is a great idea... one that Clint has actually been working on for a while. While I'm sad that this story isn't about him, I'm glad someone is doing it. This idea is completely viable, and an important step towards not only housing, but building community amongst the world's poor:
http://tinyurl.com/4aq2cj
http://tinyurl.com/4aq2cj
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Magical Laughter
I was in the shower yesterday when I heard peals of laughter coming from both of my boys in the next room. It is a magical sound that I hear often in our house, but every time I stop and just listen. This sound makes my heart swell to the point that I think it must have stopped beating, and just might explode.
Max's laughter is a sound worth living for... It is a joyous, uninhibited laughter that comes straight from his soul and spreads light into the world. A child's laughter is pure joy. They do not yet have the knocks of life to weigh on them and creep into their happiness. Children have the pleasure of a limited understanding of time; they don't think to worry about the past or the future. Their joy is magic because all they know is to enjoy this moment, now, as it is. It's a lesson we, as adults, need to relearn.
But Clint's uninhibited, head-thrown-back laughter is what really tugs on my heart. It was not very long ago that I was unsure I would ever again hear the raucous laugh that I fell in love with many years ago, as I heard it echo across the grounds of summer camp (when we were, ourselves, children). More than most people, Clint is weighed down by the burdens of life. He has been through depressions so deep that it is a struggle just to make it through this day and into the next-let alone to notice or see the beauty or joy in life. I have been through those times with him-and we have made it through, barely. To be in a place right now, despite everything of the past 2 years, where he can laugh, is nothing short of a miracle to me. Max's laughter is the magic that makes life worth living-and laughing.
Max's laughter is a sound worth living for... It is a joyous, uninhibited laughter that comes straight from his soul and spreads light into the world. A child's laughter is pure joy. They do not yet have the knocks of life to weigh on them and creep into their happiness. Children have the pleasure of a limited understanding of time; they don't think to worry about the past or the future. Their joy is magic because all they know is to enjoy this moment, now, as it is. It's a lesson we, as adults, need to relearn.
But Clint's uninhibited, head-thrown-back laughter is what really tugs on my heart. It was not very long ago that I was unsure I would ever again hear the raucous laugh that I fell in love with many years ago, as I heard it echo across the grounds of summer camp (when we were, ourselves, children). More than most people, Clint is weighed down by the burdens of life. He has been through depressions so deep that it is a struggle just to make it through this day and into the next-let alone to notice or see the beauty or joy in life. I have been through those times with him-and we have made it through, barely. To be in a place right now, despite everything of the past 2 years, where he can laugh, is nothing short of a miracle to me. Max's laughter is the magic that makes life worth living-and laughing.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
3 Seconds
One of my very favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong, writes the blog Dooce. I love to read Dooce for several reasons-because she is side-splittingly funny, irreverent, intelligent, and painfully honest. Heather has been blogging since before anyone knew what a 'blog' was, and she has become the epitome of blogger success, despite (or in spite of?) losing her job over her posts. And Heather doesn't sugar-coat life. She suffers from depression and honestly writes about how it effects her, her family, and their everyday life. And, being married to an oft-depressed non-communicative male, what she writes has helped me to understand some of what Clint goes through. I got to meet her at this year's SXSW, and I managed to not make a complete fool of myself.
Yesterday, Heather posted about her 6 year anniversary. Not something that would normally inspire commentary from me, despite the fact that I am a total sap. But in this post, she chronicled some of the really difficult stuff they have gone through over the last 6 years. And, not that I would evr wish any of the stuff that we have gone through (or are going to go through) on someone else, but it's nice to know that we aren't the only ones getting shit on by the universe. The post focuses on something her friend told her, that "No matter what horrible thing you're going through, when it's all over it only takes three seconds to sum it up. Remember that." And that helps. A little. It provides some perspective to some situations that are currently very life-consuming. It would be nice if it only took 3 seconds to live it, and 3 seconds to heal from it.... But I suppose that wouldn't build much 'character.'
She also mentioned that this was in the context of a conversation she was having with a friend about how their 30s are so much better than their 20s. Now, this is something I keep hearing, over and over. And all I can say is THANK GOD. Only 4 1/2 more years...
Yesterday, Heather posted about her 6 year anniversary. Not something that would normally inspire commentary from me, despite the fact that I am a total sap. But in this post, she chronicled some of the really difficult stuff they have gone through over the last 6 years. And, not that I would evr wish any of the stuff that we have gone through (or are going to go through) on someone else, but it's nice to know that we aren't the only ones getting shit on by the universe. The post focuses on something her friend told her, that "No matter what horrible thing you're going through, when it's all over it only takes three seconds to sum it up. Remember that." And that helps. A little. It provides some perspective to some situations that are currently very life-consuming. It would be nice if it only took 3 seconds to live it, and 3 seconds to heal from it.... But I suppose that wouldn't build much 'character.'
She also mentioned that this was in the context of a conversation she was having with a friend about how their 30s are so much better than their 20s. Now, this is something I keep hearing, over and over. And all I can say is THANK GOD. Only 4 1/2 more years...
Monday, August 25, 2008
When I Grow Up...
For some reason, this theme keeps coming up... Maybe it's just the fact that every time I turn on the radio that DAMNED Pussycat Dolls songs is on. You know the one:
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
Wanna be a star
Wanna be in movies
When I grow up
Wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
Wanna have groupies
Am I weird, world? (er, maybe you shouldn't answer that...) Is it just me? When I was a kid, I never said to myself, 'you know what? I want to be RICH! and Famous! ' Not for the sake of simply being rich and famous... That's not to say I didn't have aspirations. I mean, when I was 8, I was going to pitch for the Yankees. Until I realized a) I can't throw a baseball and b) they don't let girls play baseball. But people. This was because I love baseball. Not because I wanted to someday pay cash for an $80,000 car.
I detest this song. And not simply because any piece of 'music' the Pussycat Dolls puts out manages to make my skin crawl. Mostly because, for me, it embodies many of the things that are so wrong with our society. We place worth on an individual literally based on their net value. How much are they worth? Not as a human. Not in their contribution to society or humanity. But in dollars. We have generations growing up, bowing down to the almighty dollar. They want to be rap stars or movie stars, or simply just rich. Why? Not because they are particularly gifted or passionate about these 'careers'. But because they live in a society that tells them that is what they should want.
Don't believe me?
Ask a teacher how much they made last year.
Now ask a high school student if they would consider being a teacher if it meant they might make that much money for the rest of their lives.
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
Wanna be a star
Wanna be in movies
When I grow up
Wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
Wanna have groupies
Am I weird, world? (er, maybe you shouldn't answer that...) Is it just me? When I was a kid, I never said to myself, 'you know what? I want to be RICH! and Famous! ' Not for the sake of simply being rich and famous... That's not to say I didn't have aspirations. I mean, when I was 8, I was going to pitch for the Yankees. Until I realized a) I can't throw a baseball and b) they don't let girls play baseball. But people. This was because I love baseball. Not because I wanted to someday pay cash for an $80,000 car.
I detest this song. And not simply because any piece of 'music' the Pussycat Dolls puts out manages to make my skin crawl. Mostly because, for me, it embodies many of the things that are so wrong with our society. We place worth on an individual literally based on their net value. How much are they worth? Not as a human. Not in their contribution to society or humanity. But in dollars. We have generations growing up, bowing down to the almighty dollar. They want to be rap stars or movie stars, or simply just rich. Why? Not because they are particularly gifted or passionate about these 'careers'. But because they live in a society that tells them that is what they should want.
Don't believe me?
Ask a teacher how much they made last year.
Now ask a high school student if they would consider being a teacher if it meant they might make that much money for the rest of their lives.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Reminiscing...
I want to go back to when numbers didn't really mean anything... Back when $100 was a lot of money and 5 lbs seemed like no big deal. Of course, everything is situational-$100 in my pocket seems like nothing, but $100 being paid out is a fortune! Anyway, life was simpler then. Not in actuality, but in my understanding of it, which is really the most important part.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Random Musings
A few random thoughts I have floating around in my head (and don't feel like separating into individual posts)...
Blogging on a Saturday Night
Yes, I am sitting at home, blogging on a Saturday night. I'd like to say that my life has 'slowed down' since having a child, and to some extent it has, but let's face it...I can probably count the number of truly 'wild' Saturday nights I've had on both hands. I'm not much on crowds, people, and hassle, and so I'd much rather have a relaxing evening to myself to read, write, or contemplate. I think I'll go read a magazine, next...
Perspective
Last summer, I thought if I never saw another raindrop, it would be too soon (though, I did enjoy the cooler temps they brought). Ha! What a difference a year can make. It is really, seriously raining for the first time in a ridiculously long time right now, and I'm almost happy enough to cry about it. Srsly.
My Mommy Loves Me
Saw my Mom today (Dad was busy playing tennis). We had lunch and she loved on Max and brought be lots of goodies. More pickles (are you reading my blog, Mom?), salsa, canned black-eyed peas, canned green beans, fresh cucumbers, fresh cherry tomatoes, and more onions. This woman knows how to keep me happy.
Healthcare in This Country is Atrocious
A political rant...I just saw a prescription of Clint's sitting on the desk. We can't fill it, because to take this particular medication would require him to have regular blood work done. Same for lithium, which we would prefer him take, as the stuff he's on has some major side-effects. But he doesn't have health insurance, so we can't afford the blood work. But, if he DID have health insurance, we couldn't afford his current meds, which we get for free through a patient assistance program for people who don't have health insurance (no generic available). And on top of that, his health insurance wouldn't cover his mental health for 12 months, anyway (not that most health insurance has much in the way of mental health coverage to begin with-thinking about starting to lobby for this one), because it is a pre-existing condition. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. We are one of teh richest nations in the world, and a significant portion of our population doesn't have health insurance, because they can't afford it. Our politicians should be ashamed.
Ok, now I think I will go read that magazine...
Blogging on a Saturday Night
Yes, I am sitting at home, blogging on a Saturday night. I'd like to say that my life has 'slowed down' since having a child, and to some extent it has, but let's face it...I can probably count the number of truly 'wild' Saturday nights I've had on both hands. I'm not much on crowds, people, and hassle, and so I'd much rather have a relaxing evening to myself to read, write, or contemplate. I think I'll go read a magazine, next...
Perspective
Last summer, I thought if I never saw another raindrop, it would be too soon (though, I did enjoy the cooler temps they brought). Ha! What a difference a year can make. It is really, seriously raining for the first time in a ridiculously long time right now, and I'm almost happy enough to cry about it. Srsly.
My Mommy Loves Me
Saw my Mom today (Dad was busy playing tennis). We had lunch and she loved on Max and brought be lots of goodies. More pickles (are you reading my blog, Mom?), salsa, canned black-eyed peas, canned green beans, fresh cucumbers, fresh cherry tomatoes, and more onions. This woman knows how to keep me happy.
Healthcare in This Country is Atrocious
A political rant...I just saw a prescription of Clint's sitting on the desk. We can't fill it, because to take this particular medication would require him to have regular blood work done. Same for lithium, which we would prefer him take, as the stuff he's on has some major side-effects. But he doesn't have health insurance, so we can't afford the blood work. But, if he DID have health insurance, we couldn't afford his current meds, which we get for free through a patient assistance program for people who don't have health insurance (no generic available). And on top of that, his health insurance wouldn't cover his mental health for 12 months, anyway (not that most health insurance has much in the way of mental health coverage to begin with-thinking about starting to lobby for this one), because it is a pre-existing condition. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. We are one of teh richest nations in the world, and a significant portion of our population doesn't have health insurance, because they can't afford it. Our politicians should be ashamed.
Ok, now I think I will go read that magazine...
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